I walked into the bathroom and turned on the lights, and there was the friggin' hugest daddy long leg spider I have ever seen (some say it is an insect not a spider, but I say it's a spider so its a spider). And he was just sitting there on the wall, like inches from my face. You gotta wonder if those things are uniformly secretive creatures. I mean, whenever you turn on the lights they are just sitting there on the wall. And when you turn your back they are gone. It's like they all have agreed on this spider doctrine to freeze what they are doing when you turn on the light, no matter where they are. Such secretive creatures. It's like a bizarre game of red light green light. He might even carry a small assassin's kabar knife between his mandibles. You just can't see it cause its small. And when I am sleeping he is going to crawl right up my sheets and stick me in the neck with that piece.
Hey! That's what those goddamn red bumps are! Spider kabar knives!
You never do see 'em bite ya. The mystery is solved.
But I don't have the heart to kill them either. Poor bastards are just stuck in our scary and foreign house anyway. They don't know. Unless they agree on the spider doctrine to ritualistically attack vulnerable humans. But I still can't kill 'em. Maybe deep inside I believe someday I will be greeted by a great spider council and they will sign an alliance with me and a few of my select friends for being nice to them.
I have the greatest inclination to believe that nature and the animal kingdom is much more than what science claims to know.
-The Piece
