It is 3 o clock in the morning. I knew before that alcohol sometimes does strange things to me when I go to sleep with it in my system (usually these things are terrifying, sometimes hallucinations, but not this time). Well now I am wide awake with a dream in my head like no other before; it felt as real as I am sitting here now typing this, just in another time.
What was so striking about it was the complete parallel it shared with this reality. I was out in the living room talking to people online, a perfectly recreated living room that I can remember so vividly, and the conversations were vibrant and had a logical progression. The whole sequence had a logical progression unbroken like a conscious experience. I guess for some reason I went to the TV unit to look for something and suddenly a drawer below me opens on its own, and out comes a pair of headphones hanging by their chord and they are danced out to the middle of the room by something unseen, invisible. I was transfixed in utter fascination, and my dad came out into the living room and saw them out there dancing back and forth and exclaimed, "Oh! I love things like this!" with a hint of nostalgia, as if he had seen it as a boy. Soon my step mom was out there marveling as well. I began to cry, and I felt hot tears, and I thought to myself that I am doing this, that I cannot be dreaming, that all this is all too real.
The headphones were still dancing when outside we could hear the creaking up and down of some distant wheelbarrow, and the opening and closing of a nearby fence. Violins were playing as well. "There is more of them outside!", someone said. These things were referred to as "Descartesians" for a reason I'll never know. Soon sounds were drifting up outside from all directions as the creatures got louder and louder with their poltergeistic expressions. We turned off the lights to listen and experience them, and there was a violet glow all over the room. We were all so moved. Why? Because I believed I was really there experiencing this. Imagine experiencing something like that.
I awoke with a less benign feeling that something was in the room. It took me a little bit to roll over on the bed and cast a quick glance over the room, and then to turn on the light and fire up the computer. I had to write before it was gone. But I have a feeling it will never be gone. I have a feeling it will become a part of my memory like some of my other more vibrant dreams. Recalling the dream still brings me on the verge of tears. I woke up with tears, and now my nose is just clearing up. The imagery. And what does it all mean? Why was it so moving in such a strange, primal way that I might not be able to understand?
The birds are well into their song. It is almost 3:30 now. The first light will be coming in a few hours. I don't know if I can get back to sleep. I'm still expecting these Descartesians to come back, to start lighting up the room with violet and toying with objects like a poltergeist would. I am expecting to see something in the mirror. I am waiting. My eyes burn. My head slightly aches.
I still do not completely understand.
