So I get hypoglycemic during the afternoons when I don't have lunch. And my stomach starts to cave and contract and whisper dark threats up into my ears, and I remember my therapist saying a long time ago that untreated hypoglycemia may be the cause of many, many crimes and sometimes I can see that she might be right. I mean, as I was walking through the park in the middle of campus I was thinking about all the people I should rob and bludgeon and break open for sustenance.
Well actually I didn't really think about this when I walked through the park, but I thought other things. I thought about sitting in logic and thinking about my fellow students, "Golly, what a bunch of cretins." And how scary I must have looked with burning-coal eyes looking at something that can't possibly exist in the space above.
And then I thought about my Austin crackers. Well, I thought about them because I was eating them at the moment. I bring a pack with me every day because they have peanut butter in the middle of two crackers, like a sandwich. And protein levels out the blood sugar and helps the black thoughts become maybe at least gray (I'm pretty sure a fair amount of people go through this, including my Mom). And no fuckin' Windows I don't want to fuckin' restart my computer fuckin' now or for fuckin' today (I still haven't eaten yet, however it may be more beneficial to get this written in the appropriate state of mind).
Well, anyway, the Austin crackers. See, I was eating this peanut butter chocolate flavor, which is pretty tasty for what it is, and what they do is save on expenses and very cleverly leave out filling for every two sandwiches in each package (I am right about this, I have checked). And this makes me feel gypped. Now I think justice would be had if they were told to fill all the sandwiches with filling so that I could get two more sandwiches of protein, but what if someone out there really liked the crackers by themselves? Wouldn't it be just for them if the crackers were left unfilled? And furthermore, would it be even more just that all the crackers should just come as crackers and nothing else? (I know they could just buy another type of cracker but that doesn't help the argument).
So now I am thinking about the relativity of justice and its relations in terms of current power and control, and then certain universal ideas of justice such as human rights (which is still not completely universal I guess) and how all these moving parts collide and cause friction in the machinery and what a mess it all is.
And then I thought about other things and went to my next class where the teacher was talking about the Pullman strike, and I could swear she kept looking at me and I was growing very paranoid and dark and the whole vibe was very strange.
And all those fuckers out there driving...who's giving these cretins licenses?
