This philosophy class is a sinking ship. I guess the teacher is pissed cause no one goes to class. And everyone is pissed because the class sucks. I think some philosophizing on the subject should take place.
But I don't have the energy for that.
Walking back to my car I took a series of crosswalks that ended up stranding me on the sidewalk for some time, due to the unfortunate timing of the lights and signals. Man fuck that construction across the street. I'm sick of it.
And I did actually get to my car. And then I got stuck behind some slow ass. So I tried to go around but then another slow ass merged in front of me so I got stuck behind a sort of wall of two slow asses and I had to go back to the original slow ass shamed and defeated. And I was stuck behind her for a long time. She was magnetic.
I finally got on the freeway and I thought with elation: by god, I'm free. But no, I got stuck behind a slow ass in the fast lane. And so I tried to go around but got stuck behind another slow ass again, and thus, the same fuckin' thing happened just 5 minutes later, just on a larger scale.
This pattern continued all the way home, to the point where I wondered if I'd actually get home. It was exhausting. You wouldn't believe some of the things people did...in their cars...which can be several tons and considered weapons.
I thought about the pattern that emerged there. And then I thought about some other things. I thought about a wounded rat in a cage being poked with a stick. I thought about an upside-down 5.12-5.14 climb and the rabid, fatigued frustration that comes with the inability to get over a vertical overhang when completely exhausted. But those things were mainly about the exhaustion.
More importantly, I thought about something that resembled the design itself. The design this pattern took on that governed my journey home. I was working on a Sudoku puzzle a little while ago, and found that there was a point where I simply couldn't get anywhere. Later I found that there was an actual flaw in the puzzle: two 7's in the same row, and that the whole time I was straining to complete the puzzle in vain. I wondered if there was a similar flaw in the design in my path home, and that I was unfortunate to have entered into it, and become stuck inside a sort of impossible traffic obstacle, at least until I got to my destination.
But then we are talking about a human design flaw as opposed to a sort of natural or organic one.
I may be mixing the concepts up entirely. It happens.
It happens a lot.
Certainly a better time getting home than the guy I saw with a gas can walking back to his stranded BMW, with a sort of wincing smile, his pride hurt.
I'm tired.
