It is solitude and those subsequent heavy silences that allow the thoughts to begin to creep back in until they are swimming densely in my head. I put on music and tinker around with various logic games to dull the thoughts, or at least put something between me and them, but they still manage to leak in. I mean, a lot of the time I enjoy those sprawling, interconnected trains of thought and I love following them but sometimes it can be mentally draining, especially if the thoughts are heavy with certain emotions and you are suddenly put through that rollercoaster of changing emotions, emotions that are supposed to be saved for those dramatic events where the pent up tension in the parties involved finally breaks loose and we are left to ride out the ensuing events, feeling all there is to feel in the duration.
But the thoughts. What about the thoughts? There are too many. And when it begins to set in heavier and heavier (this large body of invading thoughts) a man begins to lose himself. Frightfully so sometimes.
I try to think of my newly cleaned guitar...with the fresh strings that slide and pull so well and you can navigate all over them nice and smooth...and I try to think of the music being piped in my ears, and of what foot is keeping the beat, usually my right, but it can vary...but oh you can only do that for so long, and those things in themselves can lead into whole other avenues of thought...for better or worse.
