The tequila feels good burning in my stomach.
Tonight was supposed to be productive. It started out that way. I was catching up on all my reading. Tonight I was going to be a good student with good stress management skills. But...
Well, my new pair of glasses broke in my hands for no reason. The little fuckers, they just fell apart as I was rubbing the lens so I could read better. And I thought back to all the times a pair of glasses broke by my hands. This wretched curse.
So I thought, fuck it, tonight is no longer catch-up night. I was tired of reading these Bush Memo papers anyway. Yeah, instead of questioning whether this whole Guantanamo Bay thing is really that humane, or consistent with those progressive ideals of the United States, they have to send memos back and forth discussing whether there is a possibility for an incarcerated alien to file a habeas corpus against them for inhumane acts. Like eh, torture. Oh it's just fine, there's this idea that the base is outside of the country's jurisdiction and these people don't fall under certain international war treaties and there are all sorts of legal sidesteps and loophole finding that is going to save their asses. But this happens all the time. At the height of power, one may experience a sort of moral blind, and it all becomes a focus on how to keep that power, or how to lose as little of it as possible as slowly as possible.
So I went to the tequila, good tequila. But of course I spilled it all over my bed. Funny how the little things catch all that momentum and you can feel it all winding down as you stand there stupefied. I felt like a baby who had just experienced a minor injustice and I was not that embarrassed that I wanted to cry.
But now the tequila is starting to take hold. It is a familiar warmth that starts in the stomach and radiates out and soon you are thinking, "Let the bed smell like tequila", and "Let those papers be, it is bedtime soon", and "Let the glasses break. I will get them fixed."
Yes. There are other means of stress management. Maybe not as effective. But I'll take it.
