If I drew an analogy between tackling a certain complex task like writing a paper with the more simple task of threading a needle with a string, where the achievement of writing the paper lies beyond the hole, and my focus is concentrated in the string, it may be possible to address the double-edged aspect of a stimulant in my system. The problem before coffee would be as follows: the string approaches the hole slowly, with deliberation but slowly. The string faces the threat of fatigue and thus sleep, where the needle would not be threaded. The coffee would provide the benefit of pushing the string towards the hole faster and keeping the deliberator all the more awake to do so, but would also succeed in forcing the string too fast and thus crash the string against the sides of the hole, splitting the thread into multiple separate fibers, all of them not enough to thread the needle, and thus my focus splintering into several disembodied tangents, such as writing this post, contemplating the possibilities of DADGAD tuning, testing the possibilities of DADGAD tuning, weighing the pros and cons of the concept of basic subsistence and security rights (which is directly related to my paper, and thus is one of the threads that is making it through the hole) and etc. Needless to say I took the coffee approach, and at this point I am not sure if it was the most efficient, though for most people it might have been. I regret this, because it is just past 11, and I haven't started my 5 page paper, and am still gathering information in order to even write it.
I have this habit of writing posts in place of writing papers. I have many posts like this. But tonight is worse than usual. Just now I slipped out of focus even in this seperate thread of writing a blog post, and so it seems the seperate threads that split apart from the original string are themselves seperating further out, as a sort of fractal, and I fear this exponential splitting will increase until my progress is halted altogether, and the coffee crash comes and I am completely doomed.
And now...the muffled throbbing against the walls of my head: a sign of an oncoming headache.
