This gaming blog has given me things to think about. And I wonder where it will go when traffic starts. I think I sort of rushed into it. It feels like a burden at times, a burden that I have to constantly maintain. I fear it will grow heavier as traffic increases.
If that's not enough, there's school. I have another paper to write. Almost done with these damned papers. Just a few more months and I'm done. But I'm growing increasingly tired the closer I get to the end. Now I just feel like it is all a waste of time. I've learned what I can, and now I can't really pay attention to anything else. I'm just sitting in class doing who knows what with my thoughts. Is anything sticking anymore? Now it is just hoop jumping. Essay writing, test taking, grade getting. I need to be out there with the music, with the writing. Ah, these institutions. These units and prestige and degrees and expectations. What is it we are after? Why these chains?
It is what is. That is the simple answer. Any other way and it would be that. Which it isn't.
There were those who began doing things a certain way and then it began to solidify and further solidify and then crystallize and now no single thing can be separated from the system without altering a whole network. And maybe even that is too much.
And here we are. Just enduring and toiling through whatever this is. Being aware of all this doesn't do anything advantageous at present, because the aware end up being the same as the unaware: we both must bite down and do. But there is hope that the aware have the advantage of the future.
