Sometimes it is better to lay paralyzed and let all of the particulars of the noise in your head crash against each other until a harmonious theme emerges and then you can roll with it.
We watched a movie tonight that tried to argue via emotions and imagery that the LAPD was this beneficent institution with its members held together in relative solidarity. The police officers took up most of the film time and were tenderly humanized, while the entirely black and hispanic gang and cartel members were compressed into these villainous caricatures, draped behind this mysterious veil of great menacing evil. It was like watching an epic and artsy dramatized version of COPS. The whole affair was incredibly manipulative on an emotional level. A particularly violating work of propaganda, made all the more pernicious by the fact that it was put together with the skills of a cinematic artist.
Strange timing, considering the recent events with the LAPD and that rogue Dorner, curiously caricatured by mass media along the same lines (and of course the caricatures are built out of partial truths which lend even more thrust to the propaganda); as the actual facts tell it, the man was driven insane by a culture of sadism and racism within the LAPD, an institution far removed from the humanistic solidarity portrayed in the movie mentioned above.
Sounds a little like Zero Dark Thirty, a movie that's supposed to be well-crafted on an emotional level but that seems to be built on a troubling and enormous lie (a lie that carries with it sadistic motivations itself): that we used torture to find Bin Laden.
Very troubling. These shiny Hollywood movies directed by pretty decent cinematic talent, fabricating these patently false narratives to prop up institutions like the LAPD and the CIA, institutions whose echoes beyond their iron curtains reek of corruption.
And all the superfluous folk, the surplus folk going insane fighting amongst each other for the scraps are supposed to be the true evil.
The thing that really hurts though...is watching family, people you love, vacuum up these narratives and nod in solemn agreement, or shout and cheer as the good guys mow down the bad guys with a volley of gunfire.
So here I sit among people I love very much, their worldviews informed by the propaganda of madmen.
And last night we met for dinner in San Bernardino, a menacing place where even the sunsets look angry. The people gather together in the strip malls, displaying their tribal tattoos and mall-bought "inland empire" clothes. Curiously enough, I think it was the San Bernardino police deparment - which is supposed to be one of the most corrupt and vicious - that attempted to burn Dorner alive and then cover up the facts. Well, after the LAPD shot up half of LA looking for him and not being able to catch him on their turf. Anyways.
Our weak bonds hold together while we eat out together, while we watch fictions together. Oh but these are only ugly moments that pass in time. The warmth comes back when we have occasion to sit (usually outdoors) and converse and enjoy each others' company. The bonds reinforce once again.
And then a phone call in the dark from a warm body. Friends beckon and reach out, reducing this nauseous train of negativity into so much more nonsense. Tribes of networked neurons in my brain vying for attention. I want to listen to them all. But perhaps one should ultimately choose love lest one decides to deliberately become lost.
See? I could have laid there in the dark, letting the chaos sort itself out until I received a welcome phone call. Here I sit trying to scratch something together in writing. But out there warm bodies beckon.
The cat sleeps on top of my coat in the chair. Cars hum by outside. So much more to say but I've exhausted my logical articulation. Back to life now.
And all the superfluous folk, the surplus folk going insane fighting amongst each other for the scraps are supposed to be the true evil.
The thing that really hurts though...is watching family, people you love, vacuum up these narratives and nod in solemn agreement, or shout and cheer as the good guys mow down the bad guys with a volley of gunfire.
So here I sit among people I love very much, their worldviews informed by the propaganda of madmen.
And last night we met for dinner in San Bernardino, a menacing place where even the sunsets look angry. The people gather together in the strip malls, displaying their tribal tattoos and mall-bought "inland empire" clothes. Curiously enough, I think it was the San Bernardino police deparment - which is supposed to be one of the most corrupt and vicious - that attempted to burn Dorner alive and then cover up the facts. Well, after the LAPD shot up half of LA looking for him and not being able to catch him on their turf. Anyways.
Our weak bonds hold together while we eat out together, while we watch fictions together. Oh but these are only ugly moments that pass in time. The warmth comes back when we have occasion to sit (usually outdoors) and converse and enjoy each others' company. The bonds reinforce once again.
And then a phone call in the dark from a warm body. Friends beckon and reach out, reducing this nauseous train of negativity into so much more nonsense. Tribes of networked neurons in my brain vying for attention. I want to listen to them all. But perhaps one should ultimately choose love lest one decides to deliberately become lost.
See? I could have laid there in the dark, letting the chaos sort itself out until I received a welcome phone call. Here I sit trying to scratch something together in writing. But out there warm bodies beckon.
The cat sleeps on top of my coat in the chair. Cars hum by outside. So much more to say but I've exhausted my logical articulation. Back to life now.
