Angling toward the ideal of self-sufficiency - itself an ideal that begs questions - I find myself to be ensconced in the cultural tissue I developed in. Here there is an inertia of desires, habits, connections. And it is as it should be. One may tear away if one wishes, but then after tearing away, one is set apart with the quality of being torn. One wishes to change without pulling too hard.
But sometimes available time and energy - and necessity, whether material or moral - forces acceleration on change, and one does what one can.
