Monday, May 25, 2020
Die As Myself
Strange, here I am, ready to continue into a fraught vocation, a sort of mixture of farming and construction, with some wanderings into the surrounding wilderness for good measure, within a geologically and meteorologically unstable mountain canyon. There are many ways to die here. None of that seems to be a problem though.
But somehow, dying of a disease fumbled and spread by the dysfunctional operations of capital and U.S. capital in particular, in fear of engaging health services and feeling like a deadly burden, just seemed intolerable.
We talk about living as ourselves, and actualizing, and being authentic, and so on. But there is also dying as ourselves.
Getting Back Up
Ok it seems to be passing. Goddamn.
Physically I'm slowly coming back online. Fatigued and hurting all over from both recovering and taking up light activity again. Putting on loads like light activity, heavier digestion, consuming alcohol etc. bring to light the damage as the body struggles to catch up, damage which mercifully is receding.
It's curious, with nausea, laboring breaths and pulse, and bodily pain, there comes attached with it a sort of settled upon meaning, which contributes to the experience of the symptoms. Ah, my stomach is a little grumbly, but this is just the pangs of a slow recovery, not a virus in resurgence; nothing to worry about.
Anyway, I'll be ramping up the physical activity nice and slow, and the same is the case with the writing. Tons to write about. We'll get there when we can.
Saturday, May 09, 2020
Relations Amidst the Growing Waves
As the growing waves - that our collective and historically linear activities have set into motion - begin to crest and then break, the late stage is typified by growing convulsions which crash into each other.
And as those convulsions progressively pass through society, they are passing first and foremost through people. And so as the dominant relation becomes typified by convulsion, the convulsion becomes personified and fixated upon, and the structural relation and its state of upheaval recedes into the background.
And so as one's ass is picked up and then cast down onto the sand bar, one is told to pick oneself up after an embarrassing and suspicious fall, and continue forward. And as the virus moves through society, the people become the virus and its effects, and embody its widening circles of destruction.
Left to fend for ourselves, we become killers overnight, and failing weaklings, and ticking timebombs. We are set against each other as mutual harbingers of destruction.
But here there are always opportunities to lock arms tighter.
And as those convulsions progressively pass through society, they are passing first and foremost through people. And so as the dominant relation becomes typified by convulsion, the convulsion becomes personified and fixated upon, and the structural relation and its state of upheaval recedes into the background.
And so as one's ass is picked up and then cast down onto the sand bar, one is told to pick oneself up after an embarrassing and suspicious fall, and continue forward. And as the virus moves through society, the people become the virus and its effects, and embody its widening circles of destruction.
Left to fend for ourselves, we become killers overnight, and failing weaklings, and ticking timebombs. We are set against each other as mutual harbingers of destruction.
But here there are always opportunities to lock arms tighter.
Let's Try That Again
As a species heavily dependent on cognition, we have this tendency to - after having our asses handed to us - cock our heads and ask the question, "perhaps I could do it differently next time" and then proceed to build upon the same old predicaments in a new and creative manner.
This can work perfectly fine in a limited way, on an individual basis say; it is how we learn after all. But stuck within a greater historical pattern and it becomes: perhaps let's try this different technocratic fix for technocratic problems, or perhaps if I'm king and have the power I can do it better, or I alone have the exclusive answer to move forward so just go ahead and step through this doorway, and then yes, the same old historical timebomb is reproduced bigger and better, and it unleashes a slowly churning and grinding destruction throughout history as it decays.
What has happened to the dialectic thinkers? It only seems there are a limited number. On a collective scale our thought has a relentlessly linear quality to it. What's next? What's the next thing? And so on.
This can work perfectly fine in a limited way, on an individual basis say; it is how we learn after all. But stuck within a greater historical pattern and it becomes: perhaps let's try this different technocratic fix for technocratic problems, or perhaps if I'm king and have the power I can do it better, or I alone have the exclusive answer to move forward so just go ahead and step through this doorway, and then yes, the same old historical timebomb is reproduced bigger and better, and it unleashes a slowly churning and grinding destruction throughout history as it decays.
What has happened to the dialectic thinkers? It only seems there are a limited number. On a collective scale our thought has a relentlessly linear quality to it. What's next? What's the next thing? And so on.
Another Alive Post
I can't quite believe I'm writing another of these, but I am still sick. It has been a good 2 months or so. An endless procession of surprise nightmares; I guess I am one of the "long-termers."
Some of the pieces I'm writing sort of hinge on me being alive to have that punch, so I'm waiting on those. But I've got a little bit to spit out for now. Hopefully more to come.
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