There's reason enough not to trust me, or at least the spurious writings that can be found here. My mind has been twisted and bent a number of ways. Trauma and perpetual turbulence of the affect has changed it, constant intense labor has changed it, and the virus has changed it, and it continues to change on account of these things.
I'm no longer doing philosophy, or political economy in the traditional sense. I don't have a coherent set of spiritual practices and insights to offer besides what has been cobbled together from various sources. Here in my life, there is nowhere stable to sit and think, or to amass stable reams of research, or what have you.
More and more it is philosophical contemplation and spiritual practice transmuted into basic physical labor, and then the latter transmuted back into the former again. I'm on a pendulum which can only move when the energy is there to move - or crawl - to the other pole, without actually making it to the end. And all of this takes place amidst the constant rumblings of various growing crises, both in the lives of myself and those connected to me and in the world at large. The rumblings are loud and obnoxious and distracting, though living through such crisis, a large part of our identity consists of such crisis.
But still it seems worthwhile to continue to move forward and make sense of it all after the fact. After having jumped out of the window and out into the forest, after the inner psychic fire had gotten so bad, so to speak, the ever-present question - and the ever-present spur to move - is "what now?"
The house was built on top of the wilderness, to cope with the wilderness, and now it is burning down, along with all of the work and energy put in to live a daily life in the house, and now more and more it is the wilderness that remains. Again, what now?
At present, the only value I can offer is: "let's find out and see." There may eventually be a "there," and getting there takes movement, and movement takes a basic discipline that needs to be maintained for that movement to actually work, and to be appropriate besides.
